Power Trip: Discovering Inner Power

Moment in time where I felt powerless, then looking back saw the inner power that I'd kept hidden.

Wellness Wednesday: What does coming into your own power look like to you?

For me it began with a self-admission. It really began 2 years ago. My very first “Goddess Experience”. I had developed this practice of meditating almost daily. It was during one of these meditations where she appeared to me. She was sitting on a throne surrounded by multitudes of men worshiping her. She looked at me with such power it was awe inspiring. Then, she spoke to me. She told me I was her and that her name (my name) was Venus. To be frank, I did not know much about Venus or any Goddesses, nor had I really thought about them. Immediately, after this experience I spent countless hours studying Venus and Goddesses trying to decode and make sense of this experience.

Finally, 2 years later, it dawned on me that She really is me! This ‘Goddess Experience’ was my unconscious mind speaking to me that I am much more powerful than I know. I’ve spent my life trying to hide my strength from others to avoid being seen as a threat to others to protect myself. I had become a master at hiding my greatness and making myself small and nonthreatening. Growing up, I intentionally hid how smart I was by getting answers wrong on purpose, I intentionally wore the same clothes so people wouldn’t notice me, and let others take credit for my work. I wanted to be invisible because if you can’t see me, you can’t hurt me.

Last week it was as if a lighting bolt went off and I was able to admit to myself that I was really strong and dare I say, powerful. Shortly after that realization, I had a ‘god experience’. This time it came in the form of a dream. I dreamt about this rustic man. We had been together before, and were just starting to reconnect. The only caveat, was that no one could know that we were reconnecting. Especially his mother, where in all the dreams I was constantly hiding our connection from her. The dreams always took place in the same house. The house, I would describe as ornate, had a large courtyard with a two story balcony opening out to the courtyard. In one scene, there was a party and we were standing out in the courtyard. I interacted with everyone and felt welcome, but we were still required to hide our connection. Each dream gradually increased in intensity until the final dream when it met its highest intensity and I multiplied into 50 or so versions of myself (like in the Matrix). In these dreams, it was as if the each dream was building off of itself. What was weird about the dream was it felt like it was controlled by the rustic man. So, naturally, I thought a god must have incepted my dream (because that’s where my logic likes to go)! So, I began frantically researching gods to find out who it was. A couple days pass and I still can’t stop thinking about this dream so I tell a friend who enjoys dream interpreting.

She had some insightful thoughts that really helped me put the dream into perspective. The dream really, was the masculine side of my unconscious showing me my inner power. Not only that, but as the dreams intensified it was as if my unconscious mind was inserting my inner power into my consciousness.

Ok let's talk about what happened to me in a more scientific way. The human body vibrates to its own rhythm. This brain emits its own unique set of brain waves: Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta, and Gamma. Each wave operates at its own frequency. Each frequency represents a unique state of consciousness.

Beta (12-30Hz): Beta waves are associated with waking, alert consciousness. Beta waves a critical to effectively function in everyday life but is also responsible for activating stress responses and anxiety. Beta waves are that nagging internal voice that often can be our biggest critic. The higher your beta frequency, the more persistent and nagging the voice can be. Your mind is literally turnt up.

Alpha (7.5-12Hz): Alpha waves become present during deep relaxation. It can be felt in light meditation or day-dreaming. Alpha waves are helpful visualization, memory, learning, and concentration. It’s thought to bridge the gap between the conscious and subconscious mind.

Theta (4-7.5Hz): Theta brain waves are found during deep meditation and light sleep, the REM dream state as well. At this state you can experience vivid visualizations, great inspirations, and insights. At theta frequency the ‘voice’ of the mind is silent.

Delta (.5-4Hz): Delta waves are the slowest and is presented in deep, dreamless sleep or deep meditation. Delta is the unconscious mind. This frequency is responsible for regeneration and healing.

Gamma (30-100Hz): Gamma waves are faster than Beta waves and are associated with high-level information processing.

I believe what I experienced during my ‘Goddess experience’ and ‘God experience’ was a result of me accessing my theta wave frequencies. I was able to access my first experience through deep meditation and second through my REM dream cycle. Both had profound impacts on my own self discovery. What happens now that I’ve discovered my inner power?

To be continued….